...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
