His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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