That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
