That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
