just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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