Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
