He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
