Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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