bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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