The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
can u get pink eye on your cock?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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