you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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