so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
