I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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