The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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