I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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