how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
