i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
