the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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