I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
