jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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