worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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