with your own penis?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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