blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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