the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
