he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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