I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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