Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
