My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
