Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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