Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
and you fell through a lawn chair
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
