Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
