dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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