im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
