i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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