remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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