Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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