Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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