Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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