Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
