i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
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