I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize