i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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