There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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