Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
