respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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