Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
