I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
