Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my phone needs a breathalizer
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
