just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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