Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
