i jhust puked up my retainher.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize