Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
