I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
