alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize