i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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