Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
