ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
