so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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