saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
