PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
