I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
