If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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