don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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