This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
